Celine Dion’s Gender Neutral Commercial Is Insane (But Worth Watching, Seriously)
Celine Dion wants babies to have a choice to decide their gender. She believes that offering gender neutral clothes to parents will “encourage a dialogue of equality.” Dion created an absurd and bizarre ad that features her creeping around a hospital baby nursery in all black designer leather pants. At one point she sprinkles glitter on the babies. One of the babies is donning a “new world order” globalist baby shirt (I’m 100% right now).
Um, this is totally insane but TOTALLY worth the read. Believe me, you’ll thank me for guiding you to watch a truly mentally disturbing experience.
This is a true mess. I may never sleep again, but that’s just fine because I got to experience the most colossally insane thing ever accomplished!
After watching Dion’s ludicrous ad for her new gender neutral baby line, I’m pretty much sold we should accept the migrant caravans and send all Hollywood celebrities to Mexico.
AND THEN BUILD A MASSIVE WALL.
Dion’s ad begins with her being arrested by the police. She keeps name dropping herself and telling the police to “take it easy, I’m Celine Dion.” It’s like every Mel Gibson police cam video ever released. Only Gibson didn’t want his version public, somehow Dion thinks its charming and inspiring to recite your position in life as “above” the proletariats that are the rest of us.
You’ll be worn out by the first 4 seconds of the ad, BUT, you will also be totally addicted to the lunacy! So you’ll just keep watching! Honestly, I’ve watched eight times already, but don’t tell anyone! I just can’t stop myself! It’s like those airport massage chairs, its embarrassing, but its also awesome!
Police eventually apprehend Dion in a flashback. Unfortunately, the directors of this production achievement don’t go back quite far enough. You know, like 20 years ago before our lives were inundated with ridiculous liberal crap.
Next, we see Dion walking into a hospital. It is as dark as an Edgar Allen Poe poem and as kitschy as an Old Navy holiday commercial.
“Our children, they are not really OUR children,” she says.
So who are they? Does someone have a college fund set up for my daughter that I DON’T KNOW ABOUT??? WHERE IS THIS MONEY??? WHY DOES SOME TODDLER KEEP EATING ALL OF MY CHEERIOS!
CELINE PLEASE HELP ME!
Dion goes on to describe our lives like this “never-ending chain.”
She then claims that we (parents who think anatomy determines gender) are only a fraction of our baby’s lives.
This is completely motivational stuff for those parents who feel breastfeeding, diaper changes, teething, being puked on, and consistently never sleeping is the end of the world stuff. Now you know, courtesy of Celine Dion, that it’s all just a “fraction” of your life as well!
HAVE SOME WINE, CELINE DION HAS THIS CRAP TOTALLY FIGURED OUT FOR US ALL!
Dion next blows glitter on the babies. I’m sure the maternity ward nurses couldn’t be more thrilled at the prospect of cleaning up glitter. But, it should be noted, the glitter magically erases millions of years of anatomical-science.
The babies are then transformed into gender-neutral goth babies.
The new goth babies look more peaceful.
STOP. I dare any of you to challenge my dramatic recap as “exaggeration.” THIS IS REAL.
NOW, we end up at the explanation as to why Dion’s being apprehended by police. To recap:
- She broke into a maternity ward
- She asserts that penises are only “a suggestion” for gender
- She blows glitter all over a maternity ward
- She dresses babies in goth attire
There is this awkward “new order” baby in the mix as well. Is Dion vying for the top spot of the globalist “chain of command?”
This is totally incredible. (Watch the video, and keep reading, there is more).
Are you still with me?
How do you feel now?
Do you feel free of the chains of changing diapers?
Goth is in.
For clarity’s sake, by “equality,” Dion means inclusivity of parents who can afford to pay $54 for crappy skull-laden sandals. Because, equality and gender freedom for babies is a high-end designer experience.
These sandals sort of make me want to wear Crocks to Morton’s Steak House tonight.
Dion told CNN that she was inspired to goth out babies and erase their anatomical divisive parts by her twin sons who ended up liking Mickie Mouse.
“I thought they were going to go for the big superheroes. They were looking at princesses. And they all wanted to be Minnie Mouse,” the five-time Grammy-winning singer and designer said during a recent interview with CNN.
“And then I said, ‘But what about Mickey?'” Dion recalled. They replied, “‘Oh, we like Mickey, but can we be …’ and I end up saying to myself, ‘You know what, it’s OK.’ You know why it’s OK? Because they’re talking, they’re finding themselves.”
“There’s nothing wrong with the blues, pinks, yellows, grays, blacks, whites. I love all colors,” Dion told CNN. “It’s not because I think everyone should be dressed in black and white. … It’s about giving them freedom. Freedom of expression. Getting away from stereotype. Giving them the opportunity, before they speak, they already have a voice.
“The message I’m trying to get across is you raise your children the way you want to raise your children. You have to decide what’s right for them. We’re just proposing another way to take away the stereotype,” she said.
Dion feels that you can “take away those stereotypes by purchasing elitist goth shoes and shirts that most parents around the world can’t afford.
So what do poor kids in Africa do when they are told their vagina makes them a woman? I suppose they suffer the fate of gender enslavement. That’s unimaginable and probably worse than starvation itself.
THANK GOD FOR CELINE DION.
Author: Jim Satney
PrepForThat’s Editor and lead writer for political, survival, and weather categories.